Article by Erin Janus| Throughout life, meeting new people is inevitable. Some come into our lives and end up staying with us for decades, and others for just a short period of time. Certain friendships and relationships can give us very powerful and valuable lessons, but when we do not acknowledge the lessons we have learned, and use wisdom from our experiences, it can be downright damaging. Too many people remain in unhealthy, destructive relationships for years and years— putting themselves through un-necessary hell. Here are 5 signs you need to let go of a relationship:
1) The same destructive patterns repeat over and over again
They say what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. This may be true for circumstances that happen once or twice— but if negative, destructive or unhealthy patterns in a relationship repeat over, and over, and over again without resolution or change, the effects on your mental, emotional and even physical health are not going to be good. And nobody deserves to tolerate being damaged emotionally, psychologically or physically for the sake of sustaining a destructive relationship! (That’s crazy! But we do it anyways! Agghhh!)
2) You find yourself hurt or exhausted more often than empowered and inspired
The relationships we have in our lives can not be sustained without our consent. Any relationship you have with anyone, whether it’s family, friend or spouse is because you are continuously consenting to have a relationship with that person. And relationships should be uplifting, empowering, inspiring and full of life. If you find yourself hurt or exhausted more often than uplifted, empowered, and inspired, it may be time to ask yourself why you are still consenting to be in such a relationship, and if it’s worth it.
3) The relationship often brings out the worst in you, not the best
A positive, fulfilling relationship will often bring out the best in you! Good relationships make you feel confident, grateful, and joyful. Do recurring patterns and events in your relationship or friendship often make you feel defensive, agitated, belittled, hurt, upset, unappreciated or undervalued? If so, you need to come to a solution. Either it’s time for a talk, a break, or time for you to let go of what or who is holding you back. Seriously. Why do we keep ourselves in situations and relationships that bring out the worst in us?
4) The things that you are most passionate about usually result in conflict
Friends, family and spouses often have different (and even opposing views) on things they are passionate about. But in healthy relationships, the things you are passionate about should not result in aggressive arguments that bring you to tears. Believe it or not: supportive, healthy relationships often entail inspiring debates and discussions, not verbal battles that drain you of confidence and energy.
5) You have thought about letting go of the relationship more than a couple times (and you’re thinking about it now)
We are all too great at listening to other people’s opinions, and ignoring our own inner voice. It can be hard to let go of a relationship that has changed your life in positive ways, but if the relationship is consistently changing your life, your confidence, or your outlook in negative ways, you need to start listening to what your intuition and inner guidance is telling you. For just one frigging minute stop listening to me, your mom, your best friend, Oprah, etc, and start listening to yourself.
Don’t block out your inner voice just because you’re afraid of change. That’s the worst thing you can do for your long-term happiness and health. I’ve seen it over and over again (and experienced it myself)— staying in destructive friendships and relationships long-term is never, ever worth the emotional, psychological and even physical consequences. You deserve to have positive relationships with friends, family and a partner that raises you up and brings out the best in you, not the worst.
About the author: My name is Erin Janus. I’m an aspiring musician, video editor and producer. Thanks for reading this article and feel free to pass it around. You can connect with me on facebook, twitter, instagram and youtube. Click here to sign up for my mailing list for more tips for self-improvement. Original article by Erin Janus. All rights reserved.